Alpha's Ark
by be-nice-to-nerds
Summary: It's been raining for what seems like thirty days and thirty nights, and Li thinks that there's another great flood coming. Meanwhile, the boys can't stop quoting The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. Buisness as usual, then.


**So I've finally gotten round to writing another oneshot. This is a nice celebration one, in commemoration of Emmalea having to sit through a two hour Maths A exam, me having to sit through three separate Combined Science mocks, Valentine getting accepted into med school and Spinkle getting back from Uganda.**

**Congratulations, everyone!**

**Enjoy. Oh yeah – set before Small World, but after the other two.**

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It rained. For thirty nights and thirty days, it rained non stop. Ok, more like eight nights and eight days. But in the eyes of Alpha Force, it was more than enough.

They had landed in Boston in the midst of a thunderstorm, and the rain had not given up since then. In fact, it had gotten even stronger – if that was even possible.

For eight days and eight nights, the five friends had been trapped inside Middleton Mansion. They had survived several pillow fights, a card fight (when all of the pillows had been demolished) and two of Li's Ideas. And several ideas, but those with capital letters are those you need to worry about. Un-capitalised ideas are survivable, but the second Li comes up with an Idea, you run to the closest nuclear shelter and lock the door.

Alpha Force had played every board game in the Middleton household, and had even been desperate enough to try to make up their own. Needless to say, this had not gone down well at all. So badly, in fact, that Amber, Hex and Alex were considering promoting Paulo's ideas to Ideas.

They had played countless games on the game consoles, surfed the net, and read all of the even close to interesting books found in the Middleton's extensive library. This wasn't anywhere as many as you'd think, because most of them were dry and boring and not meant for teenagers to read. One particular book had left Alex scarred for life – again.

You don't want to know. Seriously, you don't.

But now, Alpha Force's part of the house lay in ruins. John Middleton was close to despair. And the five teenagers were yet again… bored.

Yes. Bored. The word, that, when applied to teenagers, sends any sane adult running for cover. That word, that, when applied to Li, brings forward the creation of a space warp drive by several hundred years. Does this give you an idea of the trouble the earth is in?

"It's raining, it's pouring…" sang Li.

"Li" winced Amber, hands over ears. "Piece of advice: Never, and I mean _never_, take up a career in singing. Please."

"What? I'm not that bad, am I?"

"No" Hex quipped. "You're worse."

"Hey!" protested Li. "That's unfair. I sing better than you do."

"Maybe" Hex said. "But at least I know how bad I am. I don't torture myself and everyone around me by singing at the top of my lungs."

"He has a point" remarked Alex.

"Maybe" Paulo told him. "But don't you remember that day on one of training missions?"

Alex shuddered. "Hex, singing in the shower. I'm scarred for life."

"Again" smirked Li. "I'm surprised you're not a mass of scars by now, with the amount of times you've said that."

"I am" said Alex. "But they're metaphorical, not physical."

"Whatever"

At the same time, Hex raised his voice. "I don't see what you two are complaining about. That only happened once!"

"Maybe" conceded Paulo. "But once is more than enough. Your singing is almost as bad as Vogon poetry."

"Who had the idea of giving Paulo the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?" asked Amber. "Seriously, who?"

Sheepishly, Hex raised his hand. "Hey, don't get too angry" he protested when she glared at him. "How was I supposed to know he'd go around making obscure references for the next few days?"

"I don't know – you just were. He's starting to get on my nerves."

"You know" remarked Alex "that's generally what happens when you're trapped in a mansion with only four insane people for company."

"We're not that crazy!" Amber defended.

"Oh yeah?"

"Ok", she conceded after a few seconds of thought. "I see your point. But I've seen worse."

"Only on a Thursday" cut in Hex dryly. "I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

"Ugh!" groaned Amber. "Now there are two of them. Please, stop quoting that book. Please!"

"The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy has this to say on the subject of…" Alex smirked.

Amber looked around for something to hit him with and found nothing.

"Li?" she called over to her friend, who was staring out the window with an expression on her face that heralded the start of another Idea. "Little help here?"

Li didn't move, still deep in thought. Amber stared at her.

The boys had now caught on to the trouble and were also looking at Li, like she was a bomb threat in an Israeli airport.

"What?" Li complained without turning around, using that uncanny knowledge you have when someone's staring at you.

No one answered.

"Oh well", Li gave a half shrug, and turned around. "I'm bored. Never fear though – I have… an idea."

You could practically hear the capital letters. Paulo screamed like a girl and hid behind Alex. Hex and Amber pointed and laughed.

"Well" asked Li, with a slightly wounded expression on her face. "Don't you want to hear my idea?"

"Not particularly" muttered Hex under his breath. Amber whacked him over the head.

"Of course we do Li" she said, using all the diplomacy skills she had learnt to try to avoid yet another conflict.

"Yeah" added Alex, catching on to what Amber was doing.

"Well, I was thinking…" Li began.

Paulo let out a muffled screech and burrowed deeper behind Alex.

"What's with him?" asked a bewildered Li.

"It seems" said Amber, in her finally perfected monotone, "that dear old Paulo has finally lost his mind."

"Too much bad poetry, it seems" added Hex.

Amber glared at him.

"Ahem" coughed Li "May I continue?"

"Fire away Li" said Alex.

She did. "Anyway, I was thinking – no, don't say anything, anyone – and I realised that it's been raining for over a week!"

Amber mock-gasped.

Li glared at her and continued. "And I was thinking – if this rain doesn't ease up, soon there's going to be another great flood – you know, like the one Moses built an ark for and parted the waters to let the dove fly up the to mountain?"

Amber rolled her eyes. "It was Noah not Moses, and the parting the waters belongs to another story."

She decided not to mention how it was Moses who parted the Red Sea. Li was confused enough as was.

"So" Li said, finally finished her anecdote. "Why don't we build an ark? If this rain keeps up, we're going to need one."

"So" said Alex sceptically. "We build an ark, outside in the freezing rain -"

"It doesn't have to be in the rain." Li told him. "We could build it in here."

"No we couldn't" Hex sighed. "You know – practical issues. How would we get it out again?"

"Oh yeah. Woops. I never thought of that."

"And that's not even beginning to cover the practical issues." Alex continued.

Meanwhile, Paulo was huddled in the fetal position, moaning softly to himself.

"Can't we at least build a miniature one out of furniture?" Li begged.

"No" stated Alex firmly.

"But…"

"No. I think we all need to do some nice, relaxing training." He glanced over at Paulo. "Hex."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could give us a lesson or two? Something about computers?"

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**Yep, pretty pleased with this. And I managed to jot in a bunch of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy references (I'm re-reading the books at the moment) and a reference to Valentine's challenge (which I plan on doing… someday). I'm pretty happy. But reviews will make me happier ;) **

**BNTN**


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